Some of you who know me personally, know I have dogs, my fur kids. Until last week, I had 4 in the pack. But I lost my Shannie girl to cancer on July 11. This has hit me harder than I expected. Even with 40 days to prepare, it was not enough. Having been through this before, I know that it is never enough.

During this time leading up to her diagnosis and after it, I have been struggling with a decision to continue or not continue to do the Garden Caravan pop-ups. It takes an enormous toll of my time and energy and for very little financial reward. And this is not my only business. My design consulting business needed more time. Almost every aspect of my life needed more, because I was putting my heart and soul into the Caravan.

While I was at Whispering Pines Festival in the Woods, my tow vehicle—Jeep Grand Cherokee— started binding in the front. By the time I got home, every light on the dash was on. I limped through my final June commitments, driving it when I definitely should not have been. But again expenses were more than I brought in. The 8 hour spend of my time, while I had more lucrative work waiting, no longer seemed sustainable.

I had already planned to take July off, as I do, to go to Colorado, shop for the Caravan, and avoid the PA summer heat (since I have no AC in the Airstream). But now I was seriously considering ending everything, because the tow vehicle fix seemed like the last straw, along with all of the insurance that was due. My parents raised me to never give up, so that weighed heavy. I talked to many close friends and confidants. But one sentiment struck a deep cord: “if something seems like it’s dying it just means something else is being birthed.”

So I made a decision. I sent the email. I let everyone know. I am not doing anymore pop-ups this year. I am feeling a deep loss. But I am also trying to feel re-birth. I am not giving up on the Garden Caravan. I’m starting to fill the Etsy Shop with inventory (so watch for that in the next few weeks). I’m planning to keep that going.

I’m also tossing ideas into the wind to see what might stick. I’m thinking about a permanent, or semi-permanent set up somewhere. So if you know of any place that might love the Garden Caravan as a fixture, let me know. I’m also thinking of making it rentable for parties, sans all of the inventory. And of course I’m thinking about making it back into a traveling Airstream. I’m thinking about a lot of things. I’m open to ideas. Reach out on FB or Insta.

Here is to change, loss, re-birth. And making way for new opportunities.